10 Specific Things to Teach Our Boys About Sex and Consent

10 Specific Things to Teach Our Boys About Sex and Consent

Now before some of you try to tell me you don’t need to teach your kids about consent because you’re teaching them to wait to have sex until marriage, let me just bust that myth for you. 

First, consent still 100% matters in marriage. Second, statistically, your kids are pretty likely to have sex before marriage no matter what you teach them. If they do, you want them to doing it consensually and not raping people. Sticking your head in the sand, and saying, “Not my child” is not helping anyone. Third, your child may find themselves in a situation where they need to exercise their right to say, “No,” you need to teach them about that right.

Book Review — The Variable Life: Finding Clarity and Confidence in a World of Choices

Book Review — The Variable Life: Finding Clarity and Confidence in a World of Choices

I wish I could introduce every one of you to my friend John Weirick. I wish you could get to know him and enjoy long meals and conversations that embody empathy and a genuine desire to connect. I would love for you to sit around his living room and share questions and thoughts that challenge your assumptions and help you grow. 

I hope some of you may get that chance, but even if you don’t, you can experience it in the pages of John’s book The Variable Life: Finding Clarity and Confidence in a World of Choices. I don’t know how he did it, but reading The Variable Life honestly felt like connecting with him around a table full of delicious food.

3 Reasons A Guy (Or Girl) Will Never Be Enough To Satisfy You

So, tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. Maybe you are in a great relationship, and you can’t wait to celebrate. Maybe for you it’s Singles Awareness Day. Or perhaps you fall into the camp of “it’s complicated.”

Whatever your relationship status is, one thing is certain: love and relationships are in our faces this time of year. Everywhere you go there are red and pink hearts, “I Love You” teddy bears, roses, and candy. Society is screaming at us “you need a relationship to be satisfied, to be good enough, to be happy.”

But it’s a big fat lie. The truth is whether we are happily married for 50 years, or single forever, a man will never be enough to fill that deep empty longing inside us.

Sure relationships can be great, and in fact can be very satisfying. I am happily married, so I know how great relationships can be. I have also experienced plenty of heartbreak, and painful relationships in my life. But my husband, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your future significant other will never, can never, be enough to fill that empty place.

3 Reasons A Guy/Girl Cannot Be Enough to Satisfy You

1. He is human.

The thing about that person you are dating, or want to date, is he is human. And the thing about humans is that we are not perfect. We mess up. We hurt each other. No human can love you perfectly, and you cannot love another person perfectly either. Even in the greatest relationships, hurt happens. Yes, there is forgiveness and communication and all of the things that make great relationships great. But at the end of the day if we are relying on another imperfect person to do everything right to fill that hole inside of us, we will be disappointed.

2. It’s too big of a hole.

Can you imagine someone expecting you to meet every single one of their physical, emotional and spiritual needs 24/7? That’s a lot of pressure. And it’s impossible. That deep longing inside of us, that intense desire to be fully known and fully loved, that emptiness, is too big for a person to fill.

3. You Were Created for More.

You were created with this deep desire that we’re talking about. That feeling of wanting to be loved, of wanting someone to know everything about you, and still love you, of wanting a relationship with someone who can fully satisfy you and meet all of your needs, was put inside of you on purpose. Your Creator put it there so you would search for Him. It was never meant to be filled by another human being. Yes it’s true that He designed us to be relational beings, and it is good and necessary for us to have other people in our lives who we can trust, have fun with and do life with. But, that void in you, the one you want to fill with a boyfriend or girlfriend, can only be filled by the One who created you.

He already knows you. He knows everything about you, and He Loves You Enough to Die For You.

So this Valentine’s Day, whether you are in a relationship, single, or complicated, will you meet and get to the know the only one who can really fully satisfy you?

Are You Satisfied?

February is a tough month. In fact, this is the first year in almost 30 years, I haven’t been miserable just because it’s February.

3 Reasons February Is Terrible

1. It’s Cold and Wet

The weather in February is just miserable. In fact, CT (where I’m from) is being pelted with snow storm after snow storm this February. In December, and even in January, the snow is fun and the cold is tolerable, but by February we are done. For many of you reading this, you live in an area where February is awful because it’s bone chilling cold, and wet. You know when it’s so cold that your back starts spasming when you get the in car you forgot to warm up (not that that ever happened to me…).

2. It’s Dark

I’m so grateful to have moved to a place with sun in February, but for 29 Februaries I lived where it’s dark and gray. Even during the day it’s gray and icky outside. If you are lucky enough to have a 9-5 type job, it’s dark when you leave for work, and it’s dark when you get home. Where is the sun? Where is the light?

3. Valentine’s Day… A.K.A. Singles Awareness Day

So. Much. Pressure. Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about love. A day of celebration. But let’s be real, whether you are single or attached Valentine’s Day comes with a certain level of expectation and pressure. If your single, (especially if you were dumped right before Valentine’s Day because some boy didn’t want to get you a present, again not that that ever happened to me…) it can be an in your face reminder of the relationship you don’t have. But if you are attached, sometimes it can be full of unmet unrealistic expectations. It has to be perfect. It has to be romantic. It has to satisfy.

For many who live in the North February is miserable because it’s cold, wet and gray. SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) is a very real struggle. Of course, not everyone lives in the north. But even if you live in a warmer climate, there is still something about February that creates a longing for spring. We’re done with the death of winter and ready for the new life of spring. Now, to be fair, some people love Valentine’s Day, but for many it just adds to an already depressing month.

For me, the dissatisfaction of February traditionally lead to evaluating my life and setting out to make changes. For many years I would make life goals about relationships, money, faith, health, etc. I was desperate to find satisfaction, happiness, love, worth in something. Anything.

I couldn’t find it

I couldn’t find it in relationships. I couldn’t find it in a career. I couldn’t find it in money. I couldn’t find it in my kids, a hobby, serving at church, or sex.

I found it in Jesus. He is honestly the ONLY thing that can completely satisfy us.

As I endeavor for the rest of the month to explore the things we look to for satisfaction, let me ask you a question.

Are You Satisfied?

What is one thing you look to for satisfaction that just isn’t coming through for you?

What if He Loved You Enough to Die For You?

What if there was a man who knew everything about you? Everything you have ever done. Everything you have ever thought. Everything you have ever felt. Everything you ever will do, think, or feel. Everything that has ever been or will ever be done to you.

Pretty scary thought right?

But...what if knowing all of that:

  • He loved you anyway? Unconditionally.
  • He called you princess? And meant it.
  • He called you beautiful? And it was true.
  • He called you redeemed? And had the power to redeem you.
  • He called you daughter of the king? Because you are.
  • He called you forgiven? Really, truly, completely forgiven, for ALL of it.
  • He called you clean? And had the power to wash it all away.
  • He called you a new creation? Because with Him you are?

What if knowing all of that, even that thing you are thinking of right now:

  • He died for you?
  • Not only did he die for you, but he came back to life, to love you and have a relationship with you forever?

Would you like to meet this man?

He is real. Very real. I know Him. He has done all of these things for me. I am not the same. I will never be the same because of His love.

It is my heart, and my purpose, with this blog to introduce you to Him. He wants you to know Him. He is pursuing you right now. He will NEVER stop persuing you. You are enough for Him right now, the way you are exactly in this moment.

Do you want to know more about Him? Will you come back tomorrow, as I start to share with you who He is, what He has done for me, and what He wants to do for you?